I was Chris' wife/caregiver & this is the medical blog I wrote during his treatment. Short history: dx in July 2010, no initial bone marrow involvement, did 5 rounds hyper-cvad protocol. Found out he is in relapse/refractory status with involvement in his chest, spleen, inguinal & throat lymph nodes, bone marrow, spine & brain in January 2011 when we went to MD Anderson for treatment. The two different rounds of chemo Chris got at MDA could not put him in remission; he died of leukemia/lymphoma on March 18th, 2011, an astonishing and horrific 8 months after his diagnosis.
There is a donation page for organizations here: http://chriscranecancer.blogspot.com

Friday, January 21, 2011

I am thankful for


I wrote this a Wednesday night and posted in on my facebook but wanted to have it here too:

Right now I feel the need to list what I do have when my mind seems so distracted by what I don't have.

I am thankful/grateful for:

My wonderful mother and father in law.  You two have been taking care of Magnus for quite awhile now and I don't know what Chris and I would do without you.  Magnus has grown so much in your care and he is blessed to have you as grandparents.

My beautiful, hilarious, amazing, fantastic son.  You are growing so much and somehow my heart gets bigger everyday with the love I have for you.  I have learned so much having you in my life and I will strive to be the best person I can be for you.

My husband Chris.  It has been so tough lately and I am glad I can be by your side.  I will always be here for you.  You are an amazing father, my best friend, and the best cook I have ever met.  Honestly, you gotta beat this cancer crap because our son will face a lifetime of substandard meals otherwise!  Being in your life and wanting to be the best wife I can has made me look at myself in new ways and change some of my not so great habits.  My love for you and your love for me has made me a better person.  

All of the wonderful friends and family that have shown support in so many ways during this time.  I am slowly learning how to let myself ask for help and reach out; without all of the support you have shown I would be a miserable wreck at this point.  

Cancer is a miserable beast that has darkened my world; but I will not, I must not, let it envelop me.  I have no control over this disease, but I have control over myself.  

No comments:

Post a Comment